I feel the beauty in writing simply based on the idea that you can write about the things that come to your mind without the necessity of having an agenda is one of my favorite concepts I take away from this class. I felt the way we handled writing in this class in sort of a blog like form was refreshing for it keeps the idea of writing relevant without the constant pressure of having to dig deeply into topics. I feel it is so important to understand the simplistic form in which writing just to write can become a story all on its own, I feel this class has helped improve my writing for the fact I don’t fear the vulnerability as much as I used too. What I really enjoyed about this class was the ability to get personal in my writing with the occasion papers. I felt this was a strong element for me because I got to just witness before my eyes all the great things in it. Listening to my thoughts transcribe on paper made it interesting to hear because the fear of having to write parts of my life on paper is sometimes nerving. I don’t know whether I will say the right or wrong thing, I no longer have that problem. I now feel regardless of how you think others might perceive your work should not be the determining factor of whether the work should or should not be shared. I learned so much more about the use of technology in writing which was really intriguing giving the nature of being an English major and adapting these new forms of technology in our work. I feel there were so many political and social issues we discussed that made this class completely interesting. Journaling was a major part of my growth in writing this semester, it helped to pinpoint flaws in my writing, like the tendency to repeat myself. Overall, there are plenty of tools this class can provide as long as you can keep an open mind.
Artificial Intelligence is not official intelligence (Unit 2 Project)
If it made us all intelligent, we would certainly not be facing the crisis of global warming, potential war with countries like Russia or China, we face grave dangers in our near future. I don’t think AI is even in the conversation of potential dangers that can change the social climate of the world we live in. Can you imagine living in poverty because a robot has absurdly taken over your job? The idea these computers are thinking for us isn’t completely accurate for someone needs to be sitting behind the wheel to operate the machinery, what I can attest to in being someone who is continuing to grow around the technology is we are now losing sensitivity and personality based on the idea everything is now completely becoming computerized.
Technology is inevitably going to continue to grow, that can be seen as a good thing and a bad thing. Its good because this means there will continue to be programs that will enrich our lives, but as writers it can’t be all that great. Especially since we are in the business of the written word. The writer’s guild in California is currently on strike regarding the advances of Chat GPT, soon writers will no longer hold relevance with a program that is designed to write exactly what someone is asking for. “You might consider the parts of the writing process where technology could provide a scaffold” (55). This is good because the idea of revision can be viewed as a tool especially if you are a college student, unfortunately this means if you use this tool constantly you diminish the concept of originality, for why does that matter anymore if you can get your work done.
Chat GPT is one of these programs that is now removing the basis of thinking critically for yourself because let’s face it, there is now technology that is helping you not to think at all. Faking it until you make it is now a norm because we see these influencers making millions of dollars online selling you products, they don’t necessarily believe in but have the popularity to make you feel it is something you completely need. News flash! That is exactly what Chat GPT does for you to believe some of the facts surrounding its data base, because it is such a user-friendly interface, people believe the legitimacy of the information it provides back to the user. “leading ChatGPT-supported applications to “hallucinate”—generate plausible-sounding yet factually inaccurate information in response to verifiable questions” (JIA, 379). Effectually the nature of AI is to provide information that sounds accurate, this is the direction in which the written word is turning toward. Think about writing a resume, and not having to think about the strong selling points in your character, there is a system that is now in charge of telling others who you are.
Another major issue with Chat GPT is the idea that it is quite possible the information being provided by a program that is created to give us a rendition of what is or is not true. If you think about it this program is attempting to convince us of what we should or should not believe. “The spread of misinformation is indeed a significant challenge in the digital age, and it can have serious consequences for politics, economics, and societies” (JIA, 383). When you think about Donald Trump’s constant rant of “Fake news” it makes you question the idea of an AI giving you information, is it a republican AI? Democrat? This is why it is difficult to believe every piece of information you receive from the Chat GPT program.
Jobs are becoming scarcer in New York, you see many job openings in all kinds of markets, not many places are hiring anymore based on the idea you have expertise in certain fields, soon expertise will no longer be a factor. The scariest part of inexperience being a factor is a robot can do your job, literally. Amazon has rolled out a series of algorithm-based systems that now report to a database when there is a discrepancy in the product a customer received. Ironically, they named the system that does the report “the matrix” the idea of this system is to record responses of successful and unsuccessful package deliveries. “Put another way, instead of asking whether robots will replace human, I’m interested in how humans are increasingly treated like robots and what this means for the role of labor” (Crawford, 56). Crawford makes a valuable distinction in the observation in which humans are being treated like robots. Sooner than later the idea will no longer just be an idea, it will manifest itself in to reality, the labor in things humans used to be able to do will eventually be the job a robot can do.
Amazon was supposed to be the wave of the future, we relied on companies like these for its forward thinking and its ability to bring jobs to the general population. Things took a turn for the worse since we are now viewing the changes occurring in a company that is now completely relying on robotics clearly proves we are currently more undervalued as a population. “Robotics has become a key part of Amazon’s Logistical armory, and while the machinery seems well tended, the corresponding human bodies seem like an afterthought” (Crawford, 54). In other words, human beings are just the looming species that are soon to be dispensable. We have come to a point in our timeline where systems are being built to control of an infrastructure that once employed those who needed full time and part time positions are having a harder time attaining employment simply for the idea a robot can now do a human’s job.
Humanity seems to be taking a turn for the worst when it comes to technology, I was fortunate enough to be raised in an era where technology was only beginning to scratch the surface. Internet was not high speed, dial-up was the worst era of being connected to the internet. Through all this, distractions were born. I used a 2 way and a pager. I enjoyed the birth of technology in its simplest form like a sidekick or a blackberry. iPad and kindles were born and that is where the descent of books began. It is sometimes a little unrealistic that you can buy books and keep them on an electronic device. Gen Z is so used to the feel of electronics that the feeling of holding a book is now becoming so irrelevant, you can see it on the subways and even on school campus. People are now refusing to use books, and this is a result of the new generation of tech users who are reluctant on removing the bulk of carrying a book and keeping it on their bookshelf. “Books record the basic human experience like no other medium can” (Kidd). The idea of book bans occurring in Florida are putting us in a position of forgetting parts of history that are important to talk about, I believe technology is part of the erasure taken place in the loss of the written word.
The world has become a bit more sensitive to dark humor, but this is the monster we have created by allowing twitter to become a place in our mind that exist. It doesn’t. It’s an illusion created by the same people who have taken advantage of the same technology we fear. Bullying has become less physical because it is not virtual. #Meantweets was where it started, celebrities would read the tweets of people that were posted online. It was entertaining but it became dark, memes are now following that same form of bullying, some are funny like the one posted by MFLOL on twitter. Its caption reads “ChatGPT is coming for your job” (MFLOL). It seems funny but it’s entirely true for many people.
Technology is going to continue to evolve, I feel it is important to understand how much of your electronics your intake daily. If you believe the amount is entirely too high, you must reevaluate the amount of intake you give yourself. I believe too much of anything is not good for you. Tiktok bans have already begun in certain states for the same reason. ChatGPT is a great tool for structure and to brush up your skills in writing but be aware that it may not completely be providing truthful information even if it is tempting to believe.
Annotated Bibliography
Coskie, Tracy L., and M. Michelle Hornof. “E-BEST PRINCIPLES: Infusing Technology Into the Writing Workshop.” The Reading Teacher, vol. 67, no. 1, 2013, pp. 54–58. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/24573511. Accessed 15 May 2023.
I chose to expand on this topic because I believe the importance of technology and how we view writing now is starting to kill the very meaning of the significance of the written word. Programs like ChatGPT are starting to remove our identities and how we view ourselves as something as simple as resume writing. We are unable to highlight great aspects of ourselves to the point we are relying on computerized writing to give us a bird’s eye view of who we are and what we bring to the table.
ChatGPT, and Journal of International Affairs. “OPENAI’S CHATGPT AND THE PROSPECT OF LIMITLESS INFORMATION: A Conversation with ChatGPT.” Journal of International Affairs, vol. 75, no. 1, 2022, pp. 379–86. JSTOR, https://www.jstor.org/stable/27203141. Accessed 15 May 2023.
Chat GPT has become one of those tools that is now bringing the writing culture to a screeching halt. In essence it provides a part of technological advancement that we are not yet accustomed too, but in that same advancement the death of the written word is beginning to diminish, as well as the actual emotions that people feel in the process of life. Life regarding political and social issues that are currently occurring circa 2023. Chat GPT predicts aspects of what is to come and what is currently occurring based on a data base built within the system
Crawford, Kate. “Labor.” Atlas of AI, Yale University Press, 2022, pp. 53–87.
Kate Crawford provides images of an amazon warehouse; she paints a canvas of what it is that us humans will end up looking like if we don’t act on the role of being more present in life. The fact is we are all becoming victims of this labor she speaks of because we are unfortunately being forced in to living this ambivalent life of remaining part of this system that indeed is building us up to be robotic in every aspect of life. Apart from work there are parts of our personal lives where we become absent.
Kidd, Chip, director. Why Books Are Here to Stay. Chip Kidd: Why Books Are Here to Stay | TED Talk, https://www.ted.com/talks/chip_kidd_why_books_are_here_to_stay/transcript. Accessed 15 May 2023.
One of the great arguments about AI and the idea of technology is advancing so much is the presence books have. The effects of what someone would feel when holding a book, they enjoyed reading and characterizing themselves the minute they connect with the cover. Technology is diminishing this feeling slowly and much worse with book bans occurring in some states. It leaves the thought of progression feeling like aspects of life are beginning to regress.
This is a meme created for the Chat GPT situation occurring in the United States, it is a little scary to think about job security especially when you suddenly have a robot doing what a human being must sit down and focus to get done. We are fighting for our spots in the job industry in hopes that as writers we will continue to be taken serious, it is dark humor but there always seems to be some truth in its darkness, it’s sad to say, but there will be a point in which jobs will be replaced by AI.
Where is your focus? (Unit 1 Project)
We are all becoming a product of our consumption. Opening apps like Instagram, Facebook or Twitter all have a motive. Primarily, what drives their business is to keep you attached to your device. If you are someone who uses their device to get inspired to learn something new, gym routine, recipes for healthy eating, or even how to train your dog. There is a video for everything, but many people are on these platforms because they are bored. Those who are bored seem to use their time on these platforms to see women twerking to new songs, search for juicy gossip from the people they know or once knew, or simply looking for someone to meet and possibly have relations with.
The truth is, a beautiful woman has the power to grasp people’s attention online, @chakabars is an Instagram user who has used the algorithm to his advantage to share information about what is going on in different parts of Africa. To the average person who is using Instagram for their personal entertainment this page may seem there is an element of exactly what drives the blood down south for most young boys. Women, pornography, and provocative content that can bring this page directly to the explore page. The explore page is where everyone feels their sense of relevance. Chaka not only uses content that one would deem as inappropriate, but he does it for people to read things that are happening in parts of Africa, content that goes by ignored and unreported. He raises awareness through his posts.
With so many influencers in the world, with the amount of power they have, you would think these people would be using their influence to raise the awareness that is constantly lacking with the information we are given. There are so many things that are happening in parts of the world that are being ignored because the agenda of these social media platforms are dumbing down our abilities to really ask questions, get involved in actual issues that are occurring. I am part of the problem. I know this because I own an iPhone. One of the greatest things about Chaka are his words, he writes poetry explaining how capitalism is killing the United States, that same capitalism that perpetrates the same hate around the world.
I share with you the following post:
Before getting so caught up into what you are looking at, take the time to understand why he is using the image above. Social media users are more likely to click on a post that is portraying sexual content because society has become so deviant on the use of our devices and pornography. Chaka goes to extreme measures to get his point across, but he does so just to trick the algorithm of social media, since this is a picture that will get clicked on for the content, he goes on to provide some important information we are constantly avoiding. The use of sex is an aspect of the algorithm that is so high precisely because it keeps the users of social media engaged. If you look past the picture, you are looking at and focus on the words you will find this is a simple individual who is thirsty for justice of his people and land. Why is it fair for them to suffer for the greed within a country who is constantly going through inflation, gun violence, and the highest death rate of black people in the world. The picture below is an example of exactly what Chaka touches base on with his content:
Social media has many purposes, I am guilty of the purpose Chaka emphasizes on, for I share pictures of my life on this app that is giving us a feeling of currency, more specifically social currency. We believe that our lives look so much better if we share it online for people to wonder “how do they look so happy?” or my personal favorite “you look so young”. The gratification we gain from posting on social media is becoming our movie filmed by us and shared for the world to comment on, share, and stalk the way we make it appear to be happy. This can be extremely dangerous to the users who live their lives vicariously through you. We are confusing the idea of perception and living happy for yourself, instead of living by these norms in place by social media. It all depends what exactly you are focused on.
We tend to see so many young kids doing ridiculous dance challenges online and enjoying their portrayal of themselves on a first-person view for the world, but how many of those same kids have done something to harm themselves or others just to become famous? They do become famous, doing things that will give them the views and likes they are searching for. The literary style Chaka uses in his work can be closely related to the domains of life. There is evidence in his writing that he is targeting everyone that pretends to know what exactly is going on in the world, his target audience are those of which go on social media because they are bored and like scrolling on the explore page. The goal is essentially to raise awareness on reality, when you are glued to your devices it becomes difficult for anyone to see what is occurring around them.
You can dislike the man for his way of capturing the attention of people, his ability to understand the algorithm makes his point of view extremely valid, for the algorithm is effectively putting his post in front of everyone else. Simply because he shares models doing provocative content online, this is not to say the message he is setting his followers up for is not being lost in translation. If you use the fundamentals of reading you will encounter there is something deeper occurring in his ability to capture your attention. Using social media can either be a distraction or a tool, it all depends on what you use the platforms for. Chaka has discovered a way to grasp your attention even if you are not entirely involved in his content.
Social issues exist all over social media, the problem we are encountering is turning a blind eye on issues that are currently occurring around us. The issue that Chaka is shedding light on with his post is our focus seems to be nonexistent. We care too much about the social trends occurring online, we fail to draw our attention towards issues that matter and require a conversation. Sex is a powerful tool, when used correctly you can draw even the strongest individual to click on a woman half naked. Algorithms exist on these social platforms exactly for the reason we seem to continue to overlook. They take our focus away from issues that require more attention than it is currently receiving.
Meaningful Hashtags
Meaningful hashtags to me consist of the following:
#BLM – This one is meaningful for there are too many injustices occuring in the US and I feel there is not enough happening to resolve these issues
#Poetry- I love wordplay, especially in poetry. There is something about the drama involved that feels something deeper is at play
#motivation – Some days, we just don’t feel it. It is difficult to find a way to get motivated to continue so reading quotes to motivate me are affirming.
#memes – theres nothing like a good laugh, sometimes the memes can be inappropriate but there are many that can brighten your day
#SNKRS – I have been part of the sneaker culture since the late 90s’s I find the evolution of sneakers has played an amazing role of my life so i like to be on top of the latest trends
#Love – Because the world is lacking it on a daily basis
#Education – Because the direction of learning is becoming scarce in our society
Blog Post 3/10
For one of my classes I was required to write about the book Moby Dick. I was not aware this book had so many different layers related to biblical references, homosexuality, and psychoanalysis for Captain Ahab. First, I was not particularly ready for the length of the book as it was heavy to carry around. I didn’t let this discourage me, but I needed to find a way to write without getting lost in the pages of the text. I decided to talk about the Psyche of Captain Ahab, this topic was exciting to me because through the book his character just seems so much crazier as you continued to read about his obsession with this whale who might have been a figment of his imagination.
Part of my process in writing this paper was to understand psyche and how I can make the connection with the character and the word. There were passages in the book like during supper, the crew was completely silent in the presence of the captain, I needed to understand that silence and connect it to the captain’s psyche. I continued to break down the idea of insanity in the constant seek he had for Moby Dick, I outlined most of the chapters that had many moments that were describing his inability to get rid of the obsession of hunting this whale.
In writing its important to seek out topics that are broad and open for interpretation. There are topics that are not as broad and can feel like a slow read. Almost too unbearable to get through, I enjoy writing about what excites me and makes me feel I have interest in. If I don’t have interest in it, I try my best to steer clear from it. My advice as a writer is to seek the topics that you have a passion to expand, where passion exist it makes writing feel as a hobby and not an assignment.
Work From home (Occassion Paper #2)
It’s been a little over 3 years since we all stared death in the face, the insecurity of life was occurring all around us. The normality of living came to a screeching halt when we were all forced to live indoors for 2-3 months. For many of us it was something completely new. Most of us were working in a “in office” work environment for the better part of our lives, so looking around at our environment from home every day was not something we were entirely used too. I always wondered what my dog would do when I was away for 8 hours a day, sometimes I would find the garbage can on the floor with food spilt on the nice ceramic tiles, I guess all dogs do that. The hardest part of going back to the office was seeing your dog’s face and acknowledging the hurt they were going to feel since you were not going to be there. Kids are also deeply affected by the presence of that parent that works far too many hours in the office, seeing their parents in the morning would bring so much joy to their faces. Knowing mom and dad were going to be home was almost revolutionary. Unheard of. Now we are back, I don’t think it is spoken of enough the significant change that kind of shift in life can bring forward for many individuals.
Productivity is a word employers like to throw around when it comes to being in an office setting, but when you are in the office there are moments that are very quiet, people call it downtime. Is it possible, that when there is downtime, you can still be productive? Of course, you can, start with the dishes in the sink, or how about the pile of clothing you have been putting off toward the weekend. Take your pick, there is always something to do at home that will make your weekend smoother. That was one of the disparities I had with returning to work in an office environment where you did have down time, almost all the time. Having this downtime meant that you would sit there reading a news article, or something irrelevant to your actual job just to pass the “downtime”.
Waking up in your own space is healthy, if you have bad habits like leaving your clothing on the floor or your jacket on the couch you can see your bad habits the longer you spend time in these environments. I personally lived much like a bachelor before Covid, I used to throw my socks toward the corner basket, if I missed it would stay on the floor until it was time to do laundry. Working from home makes you entirely more aware of your environment, especially since you must be there all day.
Working from home is necessary especially if you have a parent or someone who is sick in your family who needs care. In April of 2020 I lost my uncle due to Covid, it was a devastating blow to the family, and it solidified what was important and what was not. Many of us were holding on to jobs that were paying low enough to make it worth quitting others were working jobs they hated. Those who were working jobs they hated brushed up their resumes and took the opportunity to start over.
Positions are now available online to apply for almost any job working from home. One of my favorite searches are “remote” or “hybrid” when seeking new employment. This is the new normal, Covid has proved to many employers that employees are able to be just as efficient off site than being in an office. Working from home has also created some boss attitude for many people who decided not to rely on a job during the pandemic. People decided they no longer wanted to work for someone, people took it upon themselves to begin a home businesses like gyms, food businesses, and cleaning services.
I personally was working from home during the first 3 months when Covid was at an all-time high, people were beginning to quarantine, and I was shacked up with Astrid in our apartment in Elmhurst. Covid also did give us the ability to get more connected with our partners. It was truly a blessing being able to work together side by side, we would take our breaks together and cook a meal together, eat together, all the things you want to do with your partner throughout the day, but are unable to because you have an hour limit to get your food and eat it. This instantly lifts your mood; you can get more done throughout the day.
Covid proved to employers they did not have to necessarily confine employees into a building to gain productivity from them. Personally, I think the conversation of being fatigue in the day-to-day commute to get from point A-Z consumes you. I personally think there are positions in which it is unnecessary to be in office, or if there are multiple people sharing the same title, rotations for working from home would boost morale between everyone that works from home.
Wonder Why They Call You a Simp (occasion paper)
Domination in relationships is a scary topic for some people. I am people because I love the concept of love. I am from the 90s, a time when the most we had to speak to a partner was a two-way or a pager. It was far simpler to walk around with a cell phone that has the sole purpose of communication. This generation is different, we track every single movement our partners are doing. The idea of intimacy is slowly fading due to the idea partners feel their significant other is only capable of loving them by sharing their passwords, giving them access to their location, and essentially control of their lives through their phones.
I have a friend who is tracked by his partner, he is 24 years old, and his partner is an obsessive control freak, throw in insecure and neurotic in the mix and you have a woman who is incapable of feeling the substance of love, but embracing the mental prison of control. I asked him “why do you think it is ok for your partner to track you?” he stared at me blankly as he scrambled to make an excuse for her. “I think that is how she loves bro, she is insecure from her last relationship.” I find this to be one of the biggest issues with this generation, how can you love through control? I find it difficult to believe she is not insecure about herself. Therefore, she projects her insecurity onto her relationship by needing access to all his accounts.
This same friend called me one day, and he told me his girlfriend beat him up. She found out through having access to all his passwords that he was talking to his ex-girlfriend, without questioning him she punched him in the face 3 times. My question to everyone is, at what point do we walk away from these explosive situations? At what expense do we avoid our peace? There is a word that people use for people that allow these kinds of situations in their lives, they call them “simps”. I didn’t quite know what this word was, being in college at the age of 31 means you make younger friends who have a wider variety of slang words. A simp is a slang for a person (typically a man) who is desperate for the attention and affection of someone else (Typically a woman).
I come from a time when sending your partner love letters in the mail was considered romantic, now sharing passwords is what signifies love circa 2023. Cute dates used to be appreciated, but now they are required to feel relevant through the eyes of social media. People portray one image on the internet, and you see a totally different person in real life, full of sadness and regret. I am beginning to learn that your history of partners and relationships is a major sign of where your mental health is currently.
I feel for this friend of mine, but it is up to him to stay in a relationship that does not fit them. I have been with my partner for 15 years. She has floated the idea naturally of tracking each other and sharing passwords. I believe when you have reached that realm in your relationship it is ok to say no and walk away if they do not respect your decision. When you are placed in a position to receive ultimatums to prove you love someone, that is essentially the perfect time to cut the cord of attachment, that person does not trust you and will go beyond extreme measures to try to find something that is not occurring.
Mental health is important and completely necessary while dating someone. You want to be sure you don’t bring any of your baggage from your previous relationship and perpetrate the same cycle on someone that has not necessarily shown you they deserve that treatment. Take the time to heal, restart, and attempt to bring yourself to be in a relationship with a different attitude and state of mind, that is legitimately the only way to progress with someone you want longevity with.
The day my world stood still (Occassion paper 1)
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CkhU1owD4iq/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Moments are like our digital cameras in our minds, we relive some of the greatest memories like a film that moves us so deeply, we tend to have a difficult time detaching from the beauty in our own madness. Some of these moments, for many of us, include great pain and frustration, for most of us we habitually share what we think will make us or others feel good emotionally. Lucky for you I’m not sharing sadness, I share life, the moments your parents probably talk to you about when the opportunity presents itself. The day you were born, I chose to speak about this because my daughter gave her first breath in the middle of what I call the perfect storm.
On November 2nd, 2022, Astrid and I rushed to the hospital at 3 am because she was experiencing contractions. We were entirely shocked because Naomi was not due for another 8 days, we waited. All comfort was completely removed, all bets were off, we were entering a moment that was bound to change our lives forever. Still. We waited. Astrid was not dilating, and we were becoming anxious with concern because the doctors kept addressing us, after every five sentences the word “C-Section” was being tossed around like a present on Christmas Day. For 15 years Astrid and I have planned everything, having this moment out of our control was entirely nerve wrecking. Against the odds, we rolled the dice, we fought back with “Vaginal delivery”. I know the insurance dishes out more for C-Section, but we discussed a plan, and we were going to see it through.
It was about 20 hours and I had not been able to sleep all day, I was exhausted, I can’t even imagine what Astrid was going through, at 12:15 am I closed my eyes for about 30 mins, suddenly the doctor walks in and I don’t know how I was able to wake up, my intuition told me this is it, but my stomach had shifted to another area of my body, my feet were cold and my fingers were numb, as the doctor reached to check dilatation I had not even realized my nails were in my mouth to the point I was biting down until blood extracted. I was in a cold sweat, as Astrid and I made eye contact the doctor yelled out “Oh my God! You are 10 cm dilated!” I jumped out of the couch and quickly asked “Is it time?” She looked at me and with a hidden smile under her mask she replied, “Its time dad!” I came to Astrid’s bedside and reminded her “you are going to do great; I am here with you no matter what” she smiled. The fear in her eyes told a different story.
I was overwhelmed with the joy of being a parent I found myself being selfish to the idea that she must have so much going through her mind, I asked “are you ok?” she just replied “I’m so scared” I kissed her on her head and as I did the bed started shifting in delivery position, Dr. Thorton told me to hold on to her legs and I did, really tight. She began to push at 2:15 and it was the longest 17 minutes I’ve ever had the honor to have the front seat too. Naomi was born at 2:31 AM, she gave a loud cry as her mother pushed out with a great yawp. Astrid was exhausted, and before my eyes my daughter was laying on her mother’s chest. Crying. Our little family was completely emotional, Astrid cried of joy, she carried this beautiful baby girl for 9 months, it was the best introduction for the 3 of us. I cried briefly, I was more concerned because Astrid was completely winded, she put all her effort to push.
I cried because her efforts were evident, I cried because she survived and that is a privilege. I cried because she has shown her defiance for 15 years being with someone who was difficult to love, the gift of our child is the significance of how much she loves me. Obviously, there is more details about that magical day, but I am sure there are so many different feelings based on childbirth. I want men to understand that being in that room is such a treat, it may not seem that way because of all the pain your partner experiences, but essentially this is a part of life you want to witness. It’s a moment of great pride and vulnerability.
Glimpse of the Abyss (Literary Selfie)
It is truly difficult to bring words to life when speaking on behalf of yourself. I’ll start with my name, Santiago or Santi. My passion for writing always has been a love and hate relationship, but it always conveys emotion. Its a love/hate relationship because there are times where the words just flow right through me like right at this moment. I stare at my iced coffee with little to no ice for lack of engagement in my words. We get lost in the text, just like we get lost in our thoughts. I am not an aspiring wunderkind, I just have a story to tell like we all do. My story like many always comes from the depths of experience, for without experience the story is dull. Like a delicious steak without a wine pairing, like peanut butter, no jelly. I welcome you to my world, I hope to bring together the recipe of my life and spill it out in words for you all to understand the depths of me. I write because it is the ultimate expression of character. I can use my words vocally but what do these words all really mean?
We speak through emotion at times, we raise our voices and say words we don’t necessarily mean, this is the problem with being vocal. Emotions mixed with the spoken word at times have consequences, the same is invoked with the written word, but you have to really ponder what your verse will be. You have the luxury of time with the written word. Written words are a contract, you have to stand behind what you say, sure you can adjust your thoughts, but again, it is only possible to do so with experience. Which brings me to how I write, I believe the essence of good work comes from being vulnerable on the blank page, describing the emotions you feel and deliberately facing yourself with the page to transcribe these emotions. It is open for your interpretation as a reader. My daughter invokes emotions, when I think of her the faces she makes when she brings me inspiration to write how I can picture her life playing out. That is where you will see the spurts of emotion flow through my words. We all have parts in our lives that light us up from inside, we write about these moments the most because they are brightness in our lives. Brutal honesty, this is what is required to get lost in the words.
I am a writer, I knew that when I was in high school, I felt it in my bones when I would hear Tupac, Notorious BIG, and the Wu-Tang Clan. I may not have grown up with the same oppression they had to endure in my life, but love is love, hate is hate. Both are equally relevant to distinguish, the stories behind these artist lives are the heartbeat of many New Yorkers in the 90’s. If these songs do not move you, it is because the stories do not hold any significance in your life. I come from poverty, I am a proud Latino. I paint the image of my life just as these artist do in their artworks.
